Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma

Book review #55
Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma
Rating: Five stars

Summary: (taken from Goodreads)
Sixteen-year-old Maya and seventeen-year-old Lochan have never had the chance to be 'normal' teenagers. Having pulled together for years to take care of their younger siblings while their wayward, drunken mother leaves them to fend alone, they have become much more than brother and sister. And now, they have fallen in love. But this is a love that can never be allowed, a love that will have devastating consequences ...How can something so wrong feel so right?

I don't think words can really describe this book or how I really feel about it. Forbidden evokes so many different emotions all at once. Reading the summary, I wasn't really sure if I could handle it. I thought I would be super uncomfortable the whole time. But I wasn't. Without a doubt Forbidden is probably one of the hardest books I've ever read, but it was definitely worth it.

Forbidden is centered around a struggling family consisting of children Tiff and Willa, teenagers Kit, and the elders Maya and Lochan. Their dad isn't in the picture and their mom makes it home on occasional, but is usually hungover. Maya and Lochan have taken over the role of the parents. They cook, transport the kids to school, read them bedtime stories etc. Together they become something much more than brother and sisters, but providers, best friends, and lovers? With each others love and support the two really keep the family together, but one can only be strong for so long...

All of the characters were just so precious, well aside for the nasty mom and Kit who had his rebellious moments. Maya and Lochan were such a great people with bright futures, but are held back by their responsibility. Maya was so sweet and heart-felt. And Lochan was so dependable, the rock of the family. He definitely had issues socially, but nothing that can't be overcome. I really felt Maya and Lochan's frustrations. How can something SO wrong, be oh so right? All I know for sure was that I wanted them to be happy. It's really hard to not root for them. Oh and Tiff and Willa were so innocent and cute. I couldn't imagine growing up like them.

You got to see both Maya and Lochan's point of view, which I was so grateful for. It was nice to see where each character was coming from. The writing was seriously amazing. I fell in love with it. The descriptions were so vivid and strong. There were times I had to reread parts to understand what was really going on. As I already mentioned, this is a very hard book to read. It will make you think really hard...really hard about the difference between right and wrong. I had to read this book over a few days, because of how much it was affecting me. It literally took over my day, I couldn't stop thinking about it. The book, the characters, just about everything will stay with you for a very long time if not forever. 

Forbidden is a very serious book, that really changed my outlook on things. I learned to not be so judgmental. I feel bad about how horrid my reaction was to this book before he picking it up. Forbidden is heart-breaking, painful, and definitely amazing. I have SO much respect for the author for tackling such a hard subject and doing is so wonderful. Forbidden is a book that was needed to be written. I sincerely recommend giving this one a try. But definitely not to younger readers, not only because of the inappropriate scenes, but you have to be mature enough to handle this one. Oh and as a warning, definitely have the tissues nearby. 

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Book review #37
If I Stay by Gayle Forman
Rating: Five stars (refer to the rating system on the right)

Summary: (taken from Goodreads)
In a single moment, everything changes. Seventeen-year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall riding along the snow-wet Oregon road with her family. Then, in a blink, she finds herself watching as her own damaged body is taken from the wreck...

A sophisticated, layered, and heartachingly beautiful story about the power of family and friends, the choices we all make—and the ultimate choice Mia commands.

I just finished If I Stay about an half an hour ago, and I don't think I'm yet fully recovered to even write this review. If I Stay is one of the most touching, beautiful, heart-breaking books I've ever read. From the first page I was sucked into a whole other world-completely shutting down everything around me. I know for a fact that Mia's story is unforgettable.

The scene starts out perfectly with the whole family settling down for breakfast after discovering that it was a snow day. Mia has quite a bit on her mind-music, her boyfriend, and regular teenage worries. Little does she know those worries are nothing compared to what's about to happen next.  After breakfast, the family decides to take a drive to visit the grandparents. A few hours later Mia finds herself at the hospital, with the last thing she can picture is the scene of the accident where she found her own injured body laying on the wet snow. As an observer, together we watch as Mia narrates what's going on at the hospital, as she faces the ultimate decision-whether to keep fighting or to let go.

There were so many amazing things I loved about this book. I think I would have to say the characters would be one of my favorites. The whole cast of If I Stay are now some of my favorite characters of all time. It was refreshing and breath-taking to see such awesome characters. First of the whole family, were just wonderful. Imagine that, a main character who actually wants to spend time with her family. The parents weren't strict and mean, but not carefree and crazy- they were as close to perfect as can be. They were funny and fun to be around, but still parents at the same time.

Mia of course was my favorite. She was just different than everyone else. Her love for music was astounding.  Mia and Adam can't really be described in words. It was true love, not just some cheesy romance, mostly involving physical contact. And no their relationship wasn't perfect, they definitely went through their ups and downs, but that's what made them so good together. Adam, oh Adam, I just loved him! So much. His love for music, his sweetness, just everything about him was adorable. Even Mia and Kim had a special friendship, they understood each other and the way they became friends is just hilarious. All of the characters were very lovable. Watching them surround Mia in love and support was very touching.

The writing left me speechless. It flowed as easily as a book written in verse. The story was told through flashbacks replaying Mia's most important moments. I enjoyed every single one of them. Moments with her best friend, her first date, times with her family and even music camp. All of them made me feel so warm inside, they were all realistic. The flashbacks were a big part in helping Mia decide.

I almost forget to mention how a big of a role music was. There were so many different types of music in the book, making it oh so much more beautiful. Adam had his band while Mia had her cello, both playing a huge part in their relationship as well as their lives.
  
If I Stay is simply stunning. I cried so many different types of tears while reading this. I thought so hard, it really made me think what would I do if I was in Mia's position. While this was sad book it was balanced with love, hope, and even humor. If I Stay is definitely a book to add to my favorites. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up :)

Willow by Julia Hoban

Book review #36
Willow by Julia Hoban
Rating: Three stars (refer to the rating system on the right)

Summary: (taken from Goodreads)
Seven months ago, on a rainy March night, sixteen year- old Willow’s parents died in a horrible car accident. Willow was driving. Now her older brother barely speaks to her, her new classmates know her as the killer orphan girl, and Willow is blocking the pain by secretly cutting herself. But when one boy—one sensitive, soulful boy—discovers Willow’s secret, it sparks an intense relationship that turns the “safe” world Willow has created for herself upside down. 

I read this book way over a month ago, but I couldn't get myself to write the review. I've never been so torn about how I felt about a book.  After reading several raving reviews claiming Willow to be one of their favorite books, I knew I had to read it. Saying that, I was a bit disappointed.  I had some issues with parts of the book, but there were several things I did enjoy. Willow was powerful, emotional, and heart-breaking.

After the tragic accident killing both of her parents, Willow is left as a completely different person. Living with her older brother and his small family it becomes obvious that her  brother is clearly a different person as well. They're relationship is severely damaged, just making everything worse. Willow leaves behind her old lifestyle, friends, due to the belief that she is the cause for her parent's death. The only good thing she has going for her is working at the university library. When things get really tough, she turns to the razor for help. Then Guy squeezes his way into her life, yet again making everything different.

The plot and the descriptions is what really made the book. It doesn't have very much action, but the content was enough to keep you very engaged. The cutting scenes were intense and hard to read. It definitely makes you feel uncomfortable. The scenes at the library definitely helped make the book more peaceful.  I loved how a lot of the book was set at the library, surrounded by books. I just adore it when books are such an important part in the characters' lives.

The part I didn't enjoy so much was Willow herself. I definitely understand and feel sympathy for her situation. But I found the way she handled everything was whiny. It's hard to read about characters who absolutely hate themselves. Willow blamed everything she did, not only her parent's death, on herself. Yes, she was driving the car, but that is certainly not all there is to the story. Even if it really was her fault, that shouldn't mean that she's an awful person. Willow does go through some changes, but very gradually.

Although I didn't love Willow, I absolutely loved Guy! He was such an amazing person, in fact he made the list for my top favorite characters. He was sensitive and caring. After discovering Willow's problem, Willow who was a mere stranger to him at the time, he could have just left...but he didn't. Guy made Willow such a better person. Together they had something words can barely describe.

Willow definitely picked up in the second half of the book. I am glad that I did read it. I've never read a book about this subject, so it was nice to go inside the head of cutter...to somewhat understand their reasoning for inflicting so much pain upon themselves. Willow had its ups and downs, but if this sounds like something you would enjoy, then go ahead and give it a go.

Love You Hate You Miss You by Elizabeth Scott

Book review #34
Love You Hate You Miss You by Elizabeth Scott
Rating: Five stars (refer to the rating system on the right)

Summary: (taken from Goodreads)
You know, I always thought I told you everything, but there are some things I should have said but never did. I should have told you about the time I lost your new sunglasses. I know you really liked them. I should have apologized the time I ruined your brand-new skirt, the one with the beading. I should have apologized for a lot of stuff.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.

It's been seventy five days. Amy's sick of her parents suddenly taking an interest in her, and she's really sick of people asking her about Julia. Julia's gone, and Amy doesn't want to talk about it. No one knew Julia like she did. No one gets what life is without her.

No one understands what it's like to know that it's all your fault.

Amy's shrink thinks she should keep a journal but instead, Amy starts writing letters to Julia. As she writes letter after letter, she begins to realize that the past holds its own secrets--and that the present deserves a chance. 

It's way after midnight and I'm trying to fall asleep. But I can't. Having just finished Love You Hate You Miss You less than five minutes ago, with dry tears on my cheeks, sleep is the last thing I can do. Love You Hate You Miss You is so powerful, raw, heartbreaking, and surprisingly funny. After reading a couple of light, fluffy books, this is just what I needed. I don't know how I'm feeling right now. One thing is for sure, I'm definitely blown away and almost speechless. Elizabeth Scott has amazed me once again.

The story begins with Amy coming straight out of Pinewood-a treatment center, where she had spent her summer. Julia, her best friend, had died sometime ago, but Amy obviously is still very affected. You don't discover the true story of how Julia died until the middle of the book. The book mainly  focuses on Amy's life after the accident, as well as flashbacks and memories of times before it happened. About half or more of the book is composed of letters written to Julia, about almost everything-memories, what's going on in the present, and true feelings. Amy has to deal with her parents who have changed significantly after the accident, her annoying shrink, and of course all of her schoolmates. Untimely Amy has to learn how to live, love, and smile again.

Amy is just an extraordinary person. I could never imagine being in her shoes. Without my best friend, my other half, my world would never be the same. In some ways I somewhat understand. Without someone important to you everything is just different. She felt so many different things, including guilt. Amy blames what happened on herself. Even though Julia wasn't alive in the book, I felt like I had known her all my life. She's one of those people everybody loves. She's not perfect at all, but she couldn't be a better friend with a bigger heart. I really liked how the parents played a different role than usual.  They were a totally in love couple, who weren't really planning on ever having kids. After the accident they transformed from non-caring, not even noticing that Amy is in the room, to extra-supportive and even somewhat strict.

What I couldn't really believe was that all of Amy's former friends shunned her and even made fun of her after the accident. Not that they were even real friends in the first place. Amy got stuck with Mel, Patrick, and former friend Carol for the rest of the year. A very different and unique group of people.  Patrick definitely stood out, he was mysterious and so different. He was practically the only human who actually understood.

The writing was so powerful and vivid. You would never imagine that a story about such a dark subject could be funny and sarcastic. The feelings were so touching and real. This book will think make you think...think hard. It made me feel so grateful for everything. I cried so much while reading this, I cried happy, sad, and angry tears along with Amy.

Amy and Julia, along with the whole book, I know I won't forget. I savored every page, not ever wanting it to end. I loved Elizabeth Scott's other books, but I personally think this one was her best. Love You Hate Miss You is a must read. I strongly recommended everyone to read this.

Dirty Little Secrets by C.J. Omololu

Book review #29
Dirty Little Secrets by C.J. Omololu
Rating: Four stars (refer to the rating system on the right)

Summary: (taken from the inside flap of book-the Goodreads summary gave way too much information)


From the outside, Lucy's home looks normal. Inside the front door is where the secrets begin. Towering piles of newspapers and magazines. Bags of junk flooding every inch of open space. The rotting smell permeating the air. That is what she's kept from everyone-that her mother's compulsive hoarding has reduced their lives to garbage...literally.

With just two years until graduation, Lucy finally feels like a normal life is within her grasp. Her new best friend, Kaylie, and her longtime crush, Josh, make a future seem almost possible

Then one morning Lucy comes home to find something she never expected, something that will change her life forever. And she must ask herself-how far can she go to protect her family's secrets?

That was the craziest, most disgusting, sad, twenty one hours I've ever read about. Even though it was  set over twenty one hours, it felt like several days each full with lots of events. Told through present tense and flashbacks Dirty Little Secrets was one of the most unique books I've ever read. I almost felt like I was intruding on this secret lifestyle, that I knew existed, but never experienced.

Lucy has the normal side to her life, such as  hanging out with her friend Kaylie, going to the movies, babysitting the neighbors, and meeting with her crush Josh (aka normal teenage things). On the other hand, Lucy's life comes down to counting down the days until she can escape the walls of garbage she is forced to live in. Her mother is a hoarder. Each room is crammed with magazines, trash, and garbage- things known as "collectibles" to her mother. With bathrooms that barely work, Lucy can't even take a shower at her own house. Lucy has the responsibility of keeping this secret in order to protect herself and her family. She has to live in fear of not letting anyone see the inside of her house. Now that a tragedy has happened, Lucy has to go above and beyond to try to avoid letting her secret from becoming exposed. But how far can she actually go?

The descriptions and scenes were so powerful and vivid. I easily imagined everything in my head- the disgusting trash and house, the intense scene at the party, and every encounter she had with Josh. I'm not going to lie the house was really sick. I really really wanted to just jump in and start cleaning for days (I'm sort of a clean-freak). I almost felt dirty and a bit uncomfortable myself. I think it's amazing that a book can actually do that.

Lucy tops the list for characters I feel most sorry for. Saying that-she also tops the list for characters I'm most proud of. Lucy has a horrible life-not only a terrible mother with issues, but a runaway father, an overall messed up family, and an unbelievable lifestyle she has no control over. I couldn't imagine living like that, I was very impressed with how Lucy handled everything.

I had zero ounce of love for Luce's mother. I know she does have issues, but I really just couldn't understand her no matter how hard I tried. I mean imagine begging your mom to let you clean up the house.  Kaylie, Luce's one friend, on the other hand, I loved. She was true friend that anyone would be lucky to have. She brought the normal to Lucy's life- which you do get a glimpse of. I did feel like Kaylie really could have helped Lucy, if she opened up about her problems, but I understand why she couldn't do that. Lastly, there was Josh. Josh was unbelievable,perfectly adding a sprinkle of romance to the story.

The only thing I didn't love so much about this book was the ending. It just wasn't my favorite, I mean it was in theory a good ending, but it felt really rushed. I was still very hungry for more. I wanted to see how Lucy's life ended up after making her final decision.

Overall Dirty Little Secrets was really an extraordinary novel! I've never read a book about this subject before, and I'm definitely glad I finally did. This was so unique, powerful, and fast-paced that is not to be missed. It is really impossible to put down, I would recommend this to anyone and everyone :)

Sharing Sam by Katherine Applegate

Book Review #17
Sharing Sam by Katherine Applegate
Rating: Four stars (review to the rating system on the right)

Summary: (taken from Goodreads)

How can you take the guy your best friend loves . . . when your best friend’s going to die?

Alison Chapman has always believed she’d fall in love hard. And she does—with Sam Cody, a new guy with a gorgeous face and brooding eyes, a guy who’s impossible to resist. When Sam asks her to the Valentine’s Day dance, Alison is elated . . . until she finds out that her best friend, Isabella Cates-Lopez, has fallen for Sam,too . . . until she finds out that Isabella is dying. Now Alison wants Isabella’s last days to be her happiest ever—even if she and Sam have to hide their love. Even if, by sharing Sam, Alison risks losing him forever.

I just finished reading Sharing Sam a few minutes ago, I can literally say I devoured it in one sitting. I feel a bunch of different things all at one, emotional/touched, and even sad that the book ended so quickly. I almost wished a read it slower, so it would last longer. Sharing Sam is a unique story that covers just about everything from love, loss, humor, and the sacrifices made for true friendship. Risk-taking high school student Alison Chapman hears rumors about the "gorgeous" new kid Sam Cody. Alison gets to make her own judgments about Sam while practically saving his life. From then on, Alison knew she had deep feelings for Sam, those butterfly sickening stomach feelings. On the other hand, her best friend, Isabella Cates-Lopez, finds out out that she is diagnosed with cancer, dying, but also falling in love with Sam. Alison doesn't know what to do, she doesn't have the heart to tell her about her feelings/relationship with Sam. She becomes torn between telling the truth or lying to protect someone you care about. Allison comes up with a plan, to share Sam. 

I really couldn't decide whether Allison was doing the right thing or not. I loved her character, she was honestly a good person, who wants to help others. This might just be me, but I really liked how the main characters acted their age, in other books I feel like the characters act way older than they actually are. Along with liking Allison and Izzy, I loved Sam. He was mysterious at first, but once you find out the truth to the "rumors", you can't help but fall in love with Sam. He's sweet and just different than other boys. The book was written a couple of years ago, so it was a bit outdated, but it wasn't a problem. The story had a bit of a twist at the end, which was a surprise. 

Overall, I glad I picked this book up last second. I did have some tears, not all sad ones, near the end, so make sure to be prepared with a box of tissues nearby. My only wish was that the book was longer, but other than that if your looking for a deeper romantic, emotional read, that will leave you thinking at the end, pick this one up!